Monday, January 03, 2011

You Make Me Want to Poop

When I was in New Orleans, MANY people suggested I get a voodoo reading done. As a special gift for these assholes, I now bring you my the lyrics of Salt-N-Pepa's "Shoop."

I, of course, have renamed my version "Poop."

Play the song in the background while you read for an added bonus (it takes two seconds...just do it.) FYI, just in case you were wondering, never attempt to write over lyrics to a Salt-N-Pepa song. NOT easy...and I have now listened to "Shoop" about 1000 more times than I ever thought I would.

Mark Gets Screwed Over Song

Hey, yeah - I wanna poop, baby

[Oooo, how you doin', idiot?
No, not you.
You, the white-faced one, (ha-ha) yeah
What's your name?
Damn, Mark? You sound gullible.]

Here I go,
Here I go,
Here I go again (again?)
Readers, what's my weakness?
(Trying stupid shit!)
Ok then,

Stumblin', bumblin',
Drinkin' Jack Daniels(word)
Yo, D-, I looked around,
And I couldn't believe this

I swear, a voodoo lounge,
T- is my witness
The shack had it goin' on
I was feeling capricious

I'm stupid, stupid (oooo) -
Had to try it
I'm not shy
So I asked for a ticket

A chump? Yeah,
That what it make me
Like a colonic,
Slip slide and your ass is painfully

Felt it in my gut when you dipped into your bag of tricks then a coin that you flipped for a karmic tip made me lose my grip

Shoulda smacked you
Like a bastard-ass should be smacked
Came to my senses
And I chilled for a bit

Don't know how you do the "voodoo" that you do
Just try, but it's a lie, bye, you make me wanna poop poop poop

Poop poop ba-duped
Poop ba-duped
Poop I was duped ba-duped ba-duped
Poop ba-duped
Poop ba-duped
Poop I was duped ba-duped ba-duped

"Ummm, Here's a card and another. This one has a birdy.
Brother, see this kitty? That's important. Take my word on that.

Can I give some advice my white-faced boobie?
For five more bucks, I'll predict your thoughts on Scooby-Doobie

You're a smarty- (HA!) What's up, Mr. Johnson?
He woulda gotta away it...if not for these meddling kids!

I digress, time's up, hold up, Mr. Stupid
Like 976 that's $2.99 for an ansa'

Well-a, I like 'em real bumpkin, Gomer Pyle-style, you a retard-child?
Ew, a rectangular card should get you riled

Bright as the sun, Girls just wanna have fun!"
Did you just quote a Cyndi Lauper song-song?

You're a trip, I'm a dip, can I get a scoop? (please)
Maybe, I was just totally duped, you make me wanna...

Poop poop ba-duped (Baby, hey)
Poop ba-duped
Poop ba-duped ba-duped ba-duped
Poop Poop ba-duped(Don't you know I wanna poop, baby)
Poop ba-duped
Poop ba-duped ba-duped ba-duped

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