Clearly, this was a tough decision. There were 88 entries....which once again proves that people will do anything for a Starbuck's gift card (you whores). I am going to discuss my top ten favorites...but a complete list of all suggestions (in alphabetical order) is below.
10. Laurie C.'s Lycaenid Butterfly: This made my top ten because I actually had to look up what the fuck it meant. Also, it is so the opposite of anything I would ever name my bike, which I thought was VERY funny. Laurie didn't come right out and call me a wuss, she did so with style. That is a top ten name!
9. Laura L.'s Eva Longoria: The thought of riding around for hours on end with my ass on Eva Longoria's face seems oh-so-right. What a great name for a bike...and definitely a top ten suggestion!
8. Jody W.'s Barrio Star: This restaurant is my sworn enemy. They also don't know how to make ice tea. My deep hatred for it gets it in the top ten! (BOOOOOO BARRIO STAR!)
7. Darron E.'s Blue Job: I would love to live out Darron's fantasy of accepting (the name/a) "Blue Job" from him. A top ten name...but just a little too much teeth. Keep practicing!
6. Corrine H.'s Blue Steel: LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this name. The Zoolander reference is spot on. If only I rode to get more Orange...Mocha...Frapuccino's, this would have won!
5. Chris M.'s Darron: In my heart, I know this is a winning name. Just think about every time I sat on Darron, or put my keys in Darron's saddle bag, or clipped in to Darron, or got into aero position on Darron, or put Darron in my trunk, or lubed and oiled Darron....wow. TOO MUCH sexual tension. I just can't handle it.
4. Darron E.'s Bi-keurious: Defintely very, very clever. And true. This name hit just a little too close to home. And I told you this in confidence, Darron.
3. Kris C.'s Mark's Bike: In my opinion, the FUNNIEST entry. Simple. Love it.
2. Jason G.'s Collarboner: I have thought about this for about a day...and I have been going back and forth on Collarboner vs. The Manasse Chassis. Collarboner is relevant (I was on this bike when I crashed and broke my collarbone) and it has the word "boner." I mean...it seems so perfect. I would get to say "boner" so much more often!!! Very, very close to winning. But collarboner lost by a head (tee hee).
1. Jeff M's The Manasse Chassis: It rhymes. It's sassy (which also rhymes). It has my name in it. Clearly, Jeff M. knows me well enough to realize how completely egocentric I am: He included my name in the bike's name. Winner and the new owner of a $10 gift card to Starbucks!
Thank you for all the entries!
10 Cent Whore
Future Source of Impotency
My Private Jet Plane
On your Mark
Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
The Blue Streak
The Lance Armstrong Smashed Dong Two-Wheeled Get-Along
The Manasse Chassis
The Other Woman
The Pug Wagon
The Pussy Wagon
The Strawberry Shortcake
Wheels of Fury