Saturday, December 04, 2010

I Hate Eva Longoria...Revisited

Little did I know on August 16th, 2007, when I posted a brief blog about my distaste for (then) Eva Longoria-Parker , that I would be creating one of my most popular blogs of all time. I didn't have Google Analytics then...but I do now.

I installed this web tracking device this past summer (when I was procrastinating from swimming)...and COMPLETELY forgot about that until today (while procrastinating from swimming). And according to my blog's stats...the blog: "I hate Eva Longoria" (written over THREE years ago) is one of my top ten blogs THIS MONTH. Interesting.

But what does this mean? Let's investigate:

(1) Clearly, there are a lot of people (and bots) that hate Eva Longoria. So much so...that typing "I hate Eva Longoria" into Google is actually getting my blog tons of hits! (My blog is the number one hit on Google for such a search. Hurray?) If we keep this in many people are typing "I hate Mark S. Manasse" into a search engine? Besides me...maybe only what...ten to twenty other people? (Just kidding Mark...we all love you and your similar looking name and face).

(2) The number of people who know I jokingly hate her is actually quite large. When the news broke about her getting a divorce, I received multiple emails, texts, and phone calls making sure that I had heard about it...even from people that I rarely talk to! This is crazy to me. The amount of people who know I have a pretend-hatred for some movie star I have never met probably outweighs the number of people who know how many siblings I have (hint: the answer is under two) or how many nipples I have (hint: the answer is over one).

(3) You can blast a big-time movie star and NOT get sued (until now?)....but you write a little blog about being anally raped during a colonic...and the lawyerly letters come FLYING in.

(4) The irony of re-writing about "hating Eva Longoria" is not lost on me. Maybe this will now become my most popular blog? Oh...the suspense is just killing me...

Google Analytics is cool...I have to admit. It is really neat to see how many people waste their time reading the crap I write. But what does it mean that Eva Longoria is one of my blog's main attractions? Is THAT not a slap in the face to me?

You win this round, Eva. I was just wondering, can I have your Spurs tickets? I assume you won't be needing them anymore (too soon?).


Anonymous said...

Eva Longoria is a whore. Why the hell is she being considered an actress, she can't even act. I cannot stand Eva fans, the reason you hate her cause you envy her, ahahah yeah right envy a whore please. She is disgusting and fake.

Anonymous said...

Of course she is fake not to mention a bad co worker and openly portraying a slut on TV though this role isn't hard for her to portray it comes out "naturally" if you know what i mean.
divorce served you well bitch Thank God tony realized the skank he married and decided to look for someone more worthy than this whore Eva Longoria

Anonymous said...

People don't hate you because they're jealous or envy you people hate you because you don't have a personality and the way you other words you suck biatch

Anonymous said...

Eva longoria has no class at all. All the class the media gave her was unecesarry because this woman didn't learn anything in those 8 years on tv i think my 5 year old daughter learned more than this woman will ever learn in a lifetime

Giulia Garcia said...

i don't really hate her very much , i'm jealous of her dog Jinxy . i looked up her dog's name ' jinxy ' and find out it was a girl . Why she kept showing off her little pooch every other day i see . I hope she's around 16 years old or something . I hate to see her like a girly girly girl -.-