Friday, April 09, 2010

Ideas that Might Sound Good...but Actually Aren't

Combining the shows Survivor and Who Wants to be a Millionaire into: Who Wants to be a Survivor? filmed on location in Haiti.

Spending a ton of research money blindfolding dogs, putting an orange under their noses, but feeding them apples...and then asking them what they just ate: an orange or an apple? Dogs can't fucking talk. Duh.

Going to the wake of an old archenemy...walking up to the coffin and gently whispering in the corpse's ear "You're dead to me."

Playing the "My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad" game with the son of a trained assassin.

Ever saying "He wasn't THAT bad, was he?" when talking about Hitler to a Holocaust survivor.

Before the basketball season starts, opening a savings account labeled "LA Clippers Playoff Ticket Fund"

Bringing a knife to a gunfight. In fact, bringing a knife anywhere. They are sharp and might hurt someone.

Answering "Your mother's vagina" when asked "Where do babies come from?"

Answering "Your mother's vagina" when asked "Where's Daddy?"

Answering "Your mother's vagina" when asked "What's that smell?"

In fact, the phrase "Your mother's vagina" should be used sparingly, if at all.

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