Sunday, October 18, 2009

So Long "Where's the Beef?" Hello "Where's the North American Beef?"

Ever notice that we add words to foods to make them sound better than they really are? You know...something like:

Q: You want cheese with that?
A: Nah

but if asked

Q: You want Aged Vermont Extra Sharp Cheddar with that?
A: Oh BOY...DO I?!?!?!

This happens all the time...especially at restaurants that are pretending to be high quality. In fact, I find there is a direct correlation between the number of adjectives to describe the food to the price. For example:

A burger with everything on it may run you about $5.00 to $8.00


A Japanese Kobe Beef Burger with Arugula and Smoked Real Californian Pepper Jack...well you are looking at at least $20.

This never really bothered me until recently when I saw a Wendy's commercial. Yeah...Wendy's. I haven't been there in about ten years, either...all I know is that they have square (why?) burgers and shakes that they don't call shakes.

Anyway, in this commercial...they claim that they just don't have REAL beef in their burgers...but they have REAL NORTH AMERICAN beef.

Is this supposed to make me feel better? First of all, North America is a pretty damn big area and includes such places as Tijuana and New Jersey. MMMmmmm...polluted.

Secondly, it simply freaks me out when a place claims that they have beef in their beef! That makes me ask two questions:

(1) What did you use before you made this claim?
(2) What are other places using that this is a claim you are actually proud to make?

What's really weird is I went onto Wendy's website to pull the commercial for this blog...and at least on the internet, they aren't using the "Real North American beef" terminology anymore. So that verbiage (a) is only on TV (b) has been pulled because IT WASN'T TRUE or (c) was simply made up in my mind. was probably made up in my real, North American, aged and pepper-JACKED mind.


Tauni said...

I just saw the commercial!!It is creepy and makes me never ant to eat there....

Maccerz said...

There is no such commercial. I think you need to lay off the forest-bred mushrooms.

Shasta said...

I have the same problem with meaningless descriptions such as "hand-leafed lettuce." Is there something somehow better about lettuce that was torn from the head by a human hand, vs. being shredded by the machine? Is it not still just plain old ordinary tasteless iceberg lettuce? What gives? And, while we're on the subject, who gives a crap if your Honeybaked Ham is spiral cut? Do other cuts somehow make your ham taste like pig shit instead of pig flesh? How easily led are we, anyway? FIGHT THE POWER!!!

ann marie said...

My ideal burger would be certified humane beef with hand-leafed lettuce, pepper-jack cheese, sautéed maui onions, locally-grown heirloom tomatoes and honey-dijon mustard on a slightly toasted whole-wheat bun (all organic, of course). No, I’m not even being sarcastic. Yes, it does taste better than a typical hamburger.

Manasse said...


Just saw the commercial again...they say "North American Beef" on the TV ad, but not on their website. That's kind of weird.

prez said...

This kind of marketing doesn't work for every product.

For example, buying "hand-crafted" toilet paper. Who wants to use toilet paper that was in someone else's hands?

Or "hand-dipped" pregnancy tests.

Perhaps it only works for things on the way INto our bodies, not on the way out.