Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Dear Idiot II

Ah yes...time has come to re-open the mailbag...and let the world know what kind of morons follow my blog. I have selected my three favorites for your enjoyment.

Stupid Question Number 1:


I was sorry to read about your accident. Did it hurt? I hope you are feeling better.

Toronto John

Dear Idiot:

To be fair to you, you did ask me this question before I blogged and re-blogged about my collarbone, but I still have to ask, what the fuck is wrong with you? Yes, dipshit, of course it hurt! Have you ever gotten a paper cut before, John? Do they have those in Canada? I assume they do (you probably stole them from us). Now...imagine, simpleton, if you can, a really, really, really bad paper cut...but the paper is made out of asphalt and the cut was actually the shattering of your collarbone on said asphalt. Ouch, eh? Idiot.

Stupid Question Number 2:

Dear Manasseworld:

You are such an asshole. Where do you get off polluting the internet with your foul mouth? Boo hoo my shoulder...boo hoo my triathlons...you are such a cry baby.

You suck.

Dear Anonymous Idiot:

Your words cut to the bone. THE BONE! I thank you for taking the time to classify me as an entity, and not an actual person. This sheds some light on your deeper reading skills. Maybe I should repost my writing in pictures so you can actually follow along. I'm not sure why you follow my blog if I am so offensive, by the way. I can only presume you are in prison or you are my mom. If all goes well, maybe I could consider you both in the near future(don't ask). Anyway, here's a riddle for you, asshole. Who has a small dick and just got banned from my in-box? OK...that's Brian Gunn, but it could be you, too, if you don't shape up.

Oh...and to answer your question: my chair, the shower...and sometimes with my girlfriend.

(I'm just kidding, Brian!!!!)

Stupid Question Number 3:


I've been reading your blog for about one year now. Who's Darron? You are always mentioning him on your tags (which I love by the way).

Curious Katrina

Dear Idiot:

That really could be a deep, philosophical question, but I will simply chalk this up to an idiotic one if you really have been reading me for about one year. He is a dude I have known since seventh grade. If you did any real investigation, you could probably discover he got me into blogging, we were the 2004 Yahoo National IMing champions (no shit), and we started Casual Critics together. I'm going to guess you were born in the 90's...because people your age dont try to figure shit out for themselves.

But...if this WAS a deep, philosophical question...I would have to say he is probably a transgendered pedophile. Just a guess.

OK...Keep emailing....IDIOTS.

1 comment:

ann marie said...

Manasseworld sounds like a scary place . . .