I don't like...
When I go to a restaurant, at night, and my waitress says, "I need to go on my lunch break. So-and-so is going to take over for me." Bitch....lunch was over 10 hours ago.
That my TV pretends I have a choice when it comes to cable. I get to see commercials from many different cable providers...but because of these LOCALIZED MONOPOLIES (aren't they illegal by the way), I really have no options. I wish the commercials would just end with a funny line to at least make me feel better like "Didn't that look like a good plan...too bad you can't have it, Mark." I would at least feel special they mentioned my name on TV.
Turning clocks forward and back. I really think we should just pick a time and go with it. I really believe we only do this shit to mess with people anyway...and to see who doesn't watch the news for a week or speak to any other human being for days on end. I mean, we get one million warnings...and there are still people walking around Sunday AND MONDAY that have no idea they are an hour off. I call these people stanFUrd grads. Really? That was this weekend? Yes, moron. Try not masturbating in your basement with a bucket of chicken for a week so you can keep up with world events (that was just for you, Chris).
Watching a big, blue penis for three hours. Seriously...Watchmen was cool and all...and I liked that it had something called "a plot" (you don't get a lot of those these days), but I walked out of the movie wondering if it was really necessary to see a flaccid penis for the equivalent of 1/8th of my day. Hard is one thing...but nobody likes a limp wienie. Nobody. Not even Mark S. Manasse.
Heroes anymore. That show blows. I especially hate it because I keep watching it because I keep thinking it is going to be good again. But it isn't. And every week I watch it again with the same hope. I wish my hero power were to cancel that damn show already...
The Prince of Nigeria. How many times are you going to ask me to send you a check, buddy? I'm just not going to do it. Your scam isn't working on me. Just give it the hell up. I'm not even sure how you got my email...and I doubt you're royalty. Leave me the fuck alone.