Thursday, February 12, 2009

I...Have Made...My Hips Rotate

You know that scene in Cast Away where Tom Hanks pounds his chest after he made fire and then struts around like a chicken hawk?

If not, here it is in German (this made me laugh out loud for about 2 minutes).

That was me today during my morning swim (minus the German)....after about a year-and-half of coach after coach saying:

Mark (you fucking idiot), rotate your hips. Just rotate them. This will make swimming so much easier...

Yet not one of them took the time to explain what that meant or HOW one goes about doing it. Until today. Today I met Coach Steve...and I think I want to blow him.


Coach Steve is a new instructor at the YMCA Masters Swim in Mission Valley and normally instructs little kids. Maybe this is why he was able to explain it to me...because when it comes to swimming, I have the maturity level of a thirteen-year-old boy after watching his first porno...I'm all excited...and I know what I want to do in theory...but there is no way I can make it happen. Did I also mention Coach Steve is dreamy? Because he is.

(By the way, I know Darron is going to try and find him, but since he is new, he isn't on their website yet. I checked.)

Anyway, as I finished a set of 400 yards after everyone else had been done for over a minute (a long time in the swimming world, you see), I called Coach Steve over and coyly asked him to "watch my form" and to "give me some pointers on my technique." He was more than happy to oblige...and he told me to "do a few laps for him."

Anything for Coach Steve.

So I swam up and back and completed 50 yards while Coach Steve watched my every move, and as I returned, Coach Steve told me to...get this...USE MY LEGS. The thing was, he finally used an analogy that I could legs, said Coach Steve, should be like loose poles and they should move at my hips, while my ankles were to remain soft.

Loose poles? Hips? Soft body parts? He was talking my language!

Honestly, I don't know why this particular way of explaining what to do worked...but work it did....and the next thing I knew...I was swimming up and back with general ease and MY HIPS WERE ROTATING BY THEMSELVES...just for Coach Steve.

I cannot possibly explain how cool it is to actually improve at this damn sport after just not getting it day after day. But there I was...three days into my Masters Swim training...and BAM.

I am totally dreading that the next time I go swimming that I won't be able to do it again...but if nothing else...for one day...I made my hips rotate...and Coach Steve was there to see every gyration.


Maccerz said...

Somehow after reading this blog I had both an erection *and* a fit of jealous rage.

Manasse said...

Sounds like a full day.

ann marie said...

this blog seems incomplete without a photo of coach steve

Manasse said...


prez said...

Must find Coach Steve... Must find Coach Steve...

Middento said...

Indeed. I need to see my competition. That bitch, Coach Steve.

Manasse said...

He's all mine.

Manasse said...

Ha! I think I found his phone number. Again...I'm NOT sure this is him.

Who is going to call him???


(Check out the bottom right hand corner)

Maccerz said...

I tried calling that number, but it just went straight to your mom's voicemail.