Monday, January 12, 2009

Thousand Island Dreaming (on such a winter's day)

If you're like me (and I pray, for your sake, that you aren't), you probably have noticed the lack of fine dining establishments serving Thousand Island dressing these days.

This sucks.

Why would restaurants not serve THE BEST type of salad dressing ever made? A salad dressing so superior to other lame-ass dressings that McDonalds even enlisted the services of the dressing and deemed it "special sauce." Do others dressings have such a rating?

Don't get my wrong. I understand and appreciate you second-rate ranch dressing lovers. You like to "play it safe" and "go with the flow." You are basically a Nazi, in other words. FOR SHAME!

I won't even go into other dressings because if you're some sort of freak who enjoys balsamic, or oil and vinegar, or blue cheese, or French, or Catalina you probably lack the ability to read and understand this blog in the first place, so why should I even bother entertaining your side of the argument? Anyone pretending to enjoy these crap dressings should simply be embarrassed and on some sort of list. A Crappy Salad Dressing Lover List. If need be, I may start such a me. I'll do it!

Anyway, back to my previous point. Why are so many places NOT serving Thousand Island dressing? In the past week, I have gone to three places, none of which have had it:

Woodstock's Pizza and
A third place in San Clemente with some weird name that I can't remember right now.

Regardless, I want to know why. Has the ranch dressing industry been paying off establishments to undermine its main rival? Have too many French people moved to California? Has one of the Islands sunk and renaming the dressing to Nine Hundred and Ninety-Nine Island dressing not yet been marketed?

I don't know...but I will continue to investigate on which restaurants carry this dressing...and which ones might as well be serving prison food.


Michelle Panik said...

The way I see it, Thousand Island ranks right down there with American cheese.

seeryanrun said...

it's mayonnaise-ey ketchup with weird chunks...what's to love?

Manasse said...

Spoken like a true oil and vinegar kind of guy.

tinaparker87 said...

My husband would so agree with you!

Maccerz said...

Dude, go to the south or east coast. They put thousand island dressing on everything.

You should try their thousand island ice tea. It's made of thousand island dressing, gin, tequila, vodka, and rum; served on the rocks in a highball with lettuce garnish. It's quite tasty.