Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Things I Hate About Mark S. Manasse

That's it. I'm tired of playing the nice guy...and the gloves are coming off. For years now, this...this...this "guy" has been the colonic to my ass...the chicken bone to my throat...the anal leakage to my leg...and I won't stand for this one second longer.

I introduce to you, my doppelganger, Mark S. Manasse:















And here I am:















Scary, isn't it.

I don't know this man, but I am DONE with his Google dominance. I am sure he and all his Microsoft cronies will now "spam me" or "hack me" or whatever it is computer geeks do when their backs are against the wall...but I don't care. No man who plays in a band named STD...that's right...ST mother f'in D, should have Google dominance over me. Ewww, look at me...I was in the first band to perform live on the internet. Suck me, Mark S. Manasse.

***

In 2009, Mark S. Manasse will know no fury like that of a Mark A. Manasse scorned.

The gauntlet has been thrown, "sir."

YOUR MOVE.

11 comments:

danban said...

my $$ is on you kick some major arse in '09 against Mark S.

ann marie said...

I was hoping for a top ten list :(

Manasse said...

Oh..a top ten list is coming. Don't worry.

I can't play all my cards at once.

LiTa said...

(gasp, gasssppp...)
Whew, yes!! My addiction may continue. I am excited to see where this goes, my money is on Mark A.

prez said...

I think you should email him (manasse@microsoft.com) or call him, 650.693.2751.

Alternatively, we (the blogosphere?) could email him and call him.

Example Email: "Hi Mark, I took your English 31 class in San Diego last year. Could you help me with this grammar question (followed by super hard grammar question)."

Example phone call:

Mark S. Manasse: Hello, this is Mark.
Caller: Hey Mark, what's up dude!
Mark S. Manasse: Um, who is this?
Caller: Dude, this is your buddy from Phi Tau at Berkeley!
...

This way, Mark S. Manasse slowly puts the pieces together that there is another Mark Manasse out there, that he is a teacher in San Diego, he went to Cal, etc. He'll know more about you than you know about him. And that's a victory, my friends.

Maccerz said...

Dude, I've made the offer before, and I'll make it again. I could totally help you with your SEO for Mark A. Manasse. Let me loose and I'll get you #1.

Manasse said...

Yes, the best course of action is to start calling. Darron...try it.

annette and fred said...

I am Mark s manasse's mother. He is a great guy. You should be honred to share the name with him.

Manasse said...

Deat "Annette"

HE should be "honred" to share the name with ME!

Maccerz said...

Hmm... I think it's odd that Mark S. Manasse has a mom named "Annette and Fred".

Manasse said...

It might have been a couple of years...but you know what, Chris, your comment is extremely funny.