She's not yet three years old, but I am seeing the signs. No, she doesn't kill small animals, but Maggie, the famed Pug, does have a few other habits that make me wonder about her sanity:
First: She can't get enough of her own crotch.
I would say Maggie is licking, smelling, or looking at her own pee hole 22.7 hours/day. I don't think I'm speaking out of jealousy here (right), but that is just a little too much. I know dogs lick themselves, but obsess much? I've watched her (oh, how I've watched her) spend a good thirty minutes straight intently licking her own nether regions before, and have tried to put a stop to it:
And all she'll do is look up at me, wag her little tail, bat her innocent little Pug eyes, and go right back to her rhythmic tongue cleansing of love.
Second: She can't get enough of our crotches.
Heaven forbid either Tauni or I don't directly put our underwear into the hamper. If we just drop them on the bathroom floor or NEAR the laundry, you will hear the following throughout the house:
As Maggie buries her face in them...picks them up in her mouth, and tries to make off with them so she can "be alone" (her words).
I'm going to chalk this up to CREEPY, Darron-like actions.
Third: Her porn collection.
Now, I'm not sure how she was approved for a credit card in the first place, but why she would use it for such movies as:
Puggie Star Whores
Puggie Does Dallas
and, my favorite
Barely Legal Puggies
I just really don't know.
I have asked Tauni (as her mother), to talk to Maggie about safe sex as well as her sexuality, but she just hasn't done it yet.
I am just getting a little concerned because I looked at Maggie's credit card statement, and she is expecting Single White Pug in the mail any day now.