I am off from school all week...and while most people look forward to these kind of situations, it actually makes me go a little crazy. Here are some of my thoughts from the past three days:
If someone took an IQ test then watched 24 straight hours of TBS's Tyler Perry's House of Payne and Frank TV (evenly split, of course), and then retook the IQ test...would his/her score actually go down?
Mylie Cyrus is only 16, and I am already sick of her. Let's just say she gets into drugs and doesn't reach her full life expectancy...and only lives until 66. That means I have 50 more years of wishing her dead. Why does that depress me so much?
How is it possible that at every second of every day there is at least one CSI AND one Law and Order playing on TV.
Why are my dog's nipples sagging? She is only two...and I didn't know that this happened to dogs AND humans. Man, it really is tough being a woman.
Does canned whipped cream expire?
I think I have asked this question before, but...Why DO I grow hair on my ears? Are they cold? Did this somehow keep my ancestors alive? I don't get this at all.
Why do they decaffeinate coffee? You either want caffeine or you don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah...I KNOW there is still caffeine in decaffeinated coffee. Why don't they just call it "less caffeinated coffee" or "O'Doul's" or something.
If I started texting while my students talked to me as a form of spiteful "How do you like it," would I get fired?
Why are gas prices under $2.00 now? Did they find more gas? Seriously...it was $5.00 a few months ago...I'm not an economist or anything, but this just seems odd to me.
If I put together all commonly themed stories I have written into something called a "book," and this "book" were made into a "movie" and Kate Hudson were to play my character...would she make my hips look fat?
When will my Google hits ever surpass "Mark S. Manasse?" I will give someone a dollar if they can make this happen.