Saturday, September 13, 2008

It's Time For The Nation's Tri

It's almost 11:00 PM EST, and I need to wake up in about five hours to start getting ready for my "culminating" race of the summer. This is a bitter sweet end for me.

Where I thought I would be physically, and where I actually am, don't exactly match. Although I feel relatively recovered from hurting my back earlier this summer, I have not exactly recovered to where I initially thought I would be:

In April, my race time was 3 hours and 9 minutes, or something like that.

My goal time for this race was going to be between 2 hours and 55 and 2 hours and 59 min.

Now, I am shooting for 3 hours and 5 min.

These may seem like insignificant differences, but they aren't, and the line I now feel between "Wow, I can't believe I do triathlons" and "Wow, I feel like I am a complete failure because I don't do these as fast as I perhaps should (whatever that means)" is becoming increasingly more and more blurry.

I guess never being happy with results is what keeps people pushing to improve, but the mental anguish I sometimes feel at not being able to push myself to my absolute limits weighs on me.

I am so amazed at some of the things I have learned about myself via doing triathlons: commitment as well as mental and physical strength, to name a few.

But I know there is more...and I haven't tapped into where this journey is taking me yet...

...and that really bothers me.

4 comments:

ann marie said...

I think that there’s this pervasive attitude within the triathlete community that you have to constantly push your limits to be faster, better, stronger. Well . . . I don’t buy it. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It can be just for funsies.

seeryanrun said...

Hey, every race without a DNF is a good race, but I get it. In fact, I'm right there with you. Pushing your limits is a big part of the sport, especially for "A" races. Now, the little dinkers, those are for funsies...(I can't believe I just typed that word.)

Lali said...

I can certainly understand wanting to beat your previous time, even by mere minutes or seconds - I do the same on a MUCH (what a weird word...) smaller scale... But the desire to do anything competitive for 3 hours just isn't in me. I commend you for being so driven.

Maccerz said...

Screw that. Each and every second you finish slower is just one more reminder of how much of a loser you are. If you ain't first, you're last.

I'll continue to chastise you and your lack of commitment later on today as I waste away my life in front of the boob tube eating Pringles and scratching my ass.

A great man once said, "I run because I am.". That man was actually John Wilkes Booth. And he was running because he had just shot the president. He also said "Semper Fidalis" after he killed the President. Presumably because he was a Marine. Think about the significance of that while you do your triathlon, and you'll be aaaaall right.