Saturday, August 30, 2008

More of Less

The following is a list of things that I would really like less (or fewer) of:

Hooter Hiders

Lady, I don't care if you think it is natural; I don't want to be in a restaurant with you while your kid is slurping on your nipple. Don't glare at me, either, because if you like it or not, you are a distraction. I'm not trying to "cop a look" at your food bank...but no matter what floral design you have on your tit tent, it is something that draws attention. If you don't want people to stare...how about doing that shit at home...

...or sharing.

Mylie Cyrus

This chick is the next Eva Longoria in my book. I'm sick of hearing about her struggles separating from her alter ego Hannah Montana, her daddy taking sexual pics of her....but most of all, I'm sick of seeing her ugly mug on every backpack sold in America. Remember the last chick that got this much attention who started out on The Disney Channel? How well is Britney Spears doing these days?

Use of the words Event and Catastrophe

I am tired of every TV show every week being labeled as an event. An event is something special...but if every TV show is an event, that in fact turns them into the opposite, an everyday occurrence. Regardless, I'm not sure the two-hour season premier of Grey's Anatomy truly is an event anyway you look at it. What would be an event is if that show actually had a point.

Next, the media really needs to stop calling everything a catastrophe. Again, if EVERYTHING is a catastrophe...in fact, the word loses meaning...and so does the catastrophic air. And are you like me...do you think the media is loving every second of a hurricane heading towards New Orleans. They have been waiting for this moment for what, four years? Every news station is creaming itself right now at what they hope is the destruction of people's homes and lives.

Washcloth-big (or small) Skirts

I admit it...it's distracting. I don't like it when my students are wearing clothes so small, that turning on the AC means there is a chance I might see the Va-J-J. I understand it's the style right now, and I understand we don't have a dress code at my school...but come on. These guys have a hard enough time learning without upper thigh in their face.

How about some manasseworld pulse checking...what do YOU want more of less of?

12 comments:

Maccerz said...

I want less of the word "Va-J-J". What kind of stupid Oprah shit is that? Since when did we need to come up with cutesy words for the female productive organ? Don't be ashamed--call it what it is: vagina.

McNastabator said...

It is actually me paying homage to The Soup, where they make fun of that line all the time.

BillS said...

Disagree on the breast feeding - but working on the second breastfed son in 2+ years I also have to admit it's not something my wife shoots for... but baby's got to eat (every 2 hours when your diet is nothing but breast milk). My opinion; outside noticing is fair - but that doesn't allow you to stare. Essentially the process should run 'what the?' realize activity ' oh sorry nevermind'

Mylie's Dad wasn't taking the pictures he had left - it was Annie "my photo's are all about me" Liebowitz... as for the Britany comparison - I think Olson twins is a better comparison (eating disorder) - not everyone has Brittany's Mom's talent - remember she's got a second messed up daughter on Nick.

VaJJ is lame simply in that it shows no creativity - I mean think more like Dennis Miller something like 'Jerry Mathers' if you want to reference TV but most people wouldn't recognize that refence...

seeryanrun said...

I'll go with you on the Miley Cyrus, for sure. And Speedos, banana hammocks, whatever you want to call them. Even the Olympic swimmers aren't wearing them anymore, so neither should the fat old guy swimming in La Jolla. They're called jammers. Look into them.

prez said...

You'd never make it in Guatemala then... women breast-feeding all over the place.

Maccerz said...

I do like beaver. That is a pretty descriptive word. Pussy is also a favorite.

ann marie said...

The season premier of Grey's Anatomy is not ONLY an event. It is an emotionally-charged man-candy extravaganza.

Bonus: The term Va-jay-jay was actually coined on an episode of Grey's.

Maccerz said...

Further proof that there is no need in this world for such a stupid word.

"My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina... Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson."

Stefanie said...

I could do without the tabloids thinking every celebrity who wears a loose top is concealing a "baby bump". (meanwhile I could also do without the term "baby bump")

Oh and Miley Cyrus is certainly annoying, but I'm super sick of hearing/seeing the kids from High School Musical.

McNastabator said...

"Baby Bump" bothers me, too.

And I must admit, I didn't realize that "Va-Jay-Jay" was such a politically charged word to use!

Lali said...

"Baby Bump" only bothers you because people are always asking you about yours, Marky...

Anonymous said...

I actually tried to find you a Mylie Cyrus thank you card, but I think I'll just have to get a poster to put up on our office wall.

As for the small skirts, I still think boobs hanging out of teeny tank tops are far more distracting than a little (or a lot of) thigh.