I don't drink nearly as much as I used to...what used to be a four-day-a-week hobby, has slowly become a once-every-few-months special occasion.
Last weekend, inspired by my newly-healed back...and return to full triathlon training, I had some steam to blow off. I went out with a friend of mine to get ONE beer.
We ended up getting a pitcher.
We had nothing to do...so, eh...why not, one more.
Then Tauni called and she wanted to come join us...what's one more pitcher?
Phone call...Tauni's friend wanted to come get a drink...so we needed, you guessed it, one more!
Between this fourth and eventual fifth pitcher, I noticed that I was getting a little drunk. Weird how that creeps up on you after a beer or ten.
It was at this point of revelation that Tauni's friend mentioned that she didn't like beer. We asked her (politely) to try just a sip of the lovely and tasty Newcastle in which we were all partaking.
She took one little sip and pursed her lips like perhaps a few dozen lemons doused in lighter fluid and scrambled with horseshit had crossed her lips. And she said the words every guy who loves beer DOESN'T want to hear:
Eww...that's too bitter...I'll just have a PEAR CIDER.
Pear cider, in case you didn't know, is for pussies or for people who like to say the following: Pear cider has more alcohol than beer, anyway.
I swear, I have never, Ever, EVER been around someone who drinks pear cider that has not said these EXACT words. Anyway, Tauni's friend isn't a pussy...so I will let you guess what she said/did.
So I of course did what any logical person would do when listening to such blasphemy while in a slightly intoxicated state: I challenged her pansy-ass to a dare.
I requested that the waitress bring me a straw, and upon receipt of said straw, stuck it in the half-finished fourth pitcher of beer and after much debate decided the following...Lily-Livered-Cider-Lover had 15 minutes to finish said pitcher with a straw. If she succeeded, I would go to Curves (the gym created just for women) in my tri shorts and demand a membership.
This was really a win-win for me. And worth every second of humiliation coming my way. So I make a fool of myself...again. Gives me something to blog about...and I got to torture a beer hater on the way.
Bittersweet, some might say.