Last Sunday, I did my first "International" Triathlon. So, for the record, I have now done the following types of triathlons:
Sprint: Swam 800 Yards, Biked 12 Miles, and Ran 3 Miles -- About 3 years ago
Olympic: Swam 1 Mile, Biked 25 Miles, and Ran 6 Miles. -- A few months ago
International: Swam 1000 Yards, Biked 18 Miles, Ran 6 Miles -- Two days ago.
Why do they have so many different types of these things? I don't know. Different amounts of ways to mess with your body, I guess. I havent even gotten into the 1/2 Ironman and Ironman levels yet.
The best part about the triathlon I just did was it actually wasn't even a triathlon....it was a quadathlon. How? How you ask? How?
Let me paint you a little picture.
As I walked over to the start of the swim, I had one of life's defining moments.
To my right: the water. My wave was starting in about five minutes, and I needed to swim out to the race starting line. Plenty of time to get there in the grand scheme of things.
To my left: a line of about 20 open port-o-potties. And man...I really, Really, REALLY had to go to the bathroom. And not number 1, mind you.
So, here was my dilemma. If I looked to the right...I had my race. If I entered the water right then, I could get to the starting line just on time. If I looked to my left...I had salvation. I could fully release what ailed me.
Again and again I looked. Left. Right. Left. Right.
Ah fuck it...I can hold it.
And held it I did. And for the next 2.5 hours...every move I made...every stroke I took...every pedal I pedalled, every step I ran...oh, I could FEEL I was holding it.
Tauni suggested that perhaps my body would "reabsorb" it for energy during the race. Oddly, she was wrong. Damn poop in my belly wrong.
So while I competed in a triathlon on Sunday...I, in fact, did what I'm sure few to no others did. I completed a quadathlon:
I swam. I biked. I ran. I held my poop in.
I NEVER want to do that again.