Tuesday, July 01, 2008

My First Quadathlon

Last Sunday, I did my first "International" Triathlon. So, for the record, I have now done the following types of triathlons:

Sprint: Swam 800 Yards, Biked 12 Miles, and Ran 3 Miles -- About 3 years ago
Olympic: Swam 1 Mile, Biked 25 Miles, and Ran 6 Miles. -- A few months ago
International: Swam 1000 Yards, Biked 18 Miles, Ran 6 Miles -- Two days ago.

Why do they have so many different types of these things? I don't know. Different amounts of ways to mess with your body, I guess. I havent even gotten into the 1/2 Ironman and Ironman levels yet.

The best part about the triathlon I just did was it actually wasn't even a triathlon....it was a quadathlon. How? How you ask? How?

Let me paint you a little picture.

As I walked over to the start of the swim, I had one of life's defining moments.

To my right: the water. My wave was starting in about five minutes, and I needed to swim out to the race starting line. Plenty of time to get there in the grand scheme of things.

To my left: a line of about 20 open port-o-potties. And man...I really, Really, REALLY had to go to the bathroom. And not number 1, mind you.

So, here was my dilemma. If I looked to the right...I had my race. If I entered the water right then, I could get to the starting line just on time. If I looked to my left...I had salvation. I could fully release what ailed me.

Again and again I looked. Left. Right. Left. Right.

Ah fuck it...I can hold it.

And held it I did. And for the next 2.5 hours...every move I made...every stroke I took...every pedal I pedalled, every step I ran...oh, I could FEEL I was holding it.

Tauni suggested that perhaps my body would "reabsorb" it for energy during the race. Oddly, she was wrong. Damn poop in my belly wrong.

So while I competed in a triathlon on Sunday...I, in fact, did what I'm sure few to no others did. I completed a quadathlon:

I swam. I biked. I ran. I held my poop in.

I NEVER want to do that again.


ann marie said...

you have lived through my worst nightmare . . . you best be sure that the first thing I do on race morning is use the ladies room

seeryanrun said...

God, I'd say just go on the bike, but jeez. No wonder you looked so "In the zone" at the finish.

prez said...

Ha.... re-absorb.

Why not call it a "tetrathlon"?