Monday, July 21, 2008

Boobs, Moobs, And The People Who Have Them

The back, she is still not better. So, after putting it off for as long as I could...I went to go get a massage. Why wait? Well, my last massage experience was not much fun.

This time was different, though. This time, I had a plan.

Tauni and I made an appointment, and we specifically asked for a FEMALE masseuse. Couple that with my direct instructions of "not rolling over" at any point, and I felt good to go. I wasn't going to give my neck to anyone!!!!!(previous blog reference)

AND IT WENT WELL. The chick, all 90 lbs of her, contorted herself all on, over, and what felt like THROUGH my back. She was also good for some interesting quotes such as:

Massage Lady: I used to be a ballerina while sticking her elbow directly into my side.

Me: Oh yeah?

Massage Lady: Yeah, but what good does it do me to be able to lift my leg over my head?

Me: Biting my tongue and not responding.

Massage Lady: I mean, I guess I could do it at parties.

Me: Needing to respond if she was going to keep talking about her special gift...I guess you could get some free beer out of it?

In the end, maybe it was the imagery, maybe it was the scented candles, maybe it was her sticking her fingers around my spine and yanking it out of my body...but I did feel pretty loose when I left. Not lift-my-leg-over-my-head loose, but looser nevertheless.

***

I am itching to do some training. In the brief time I have been off, I haven't changed my eating habits, and I am already putting on weight. My pecs...which I did finally have...are gone. Where they went? Back behind some lovely moobs. I prefer the term "moob" to "man boob" by the way. I'm not really sure why.

Something needs to change, though. I either need to go on a diet or get back to swimming, biking, and running every day.

If you were me, what you do?

(a) Diet
(b) Swim, bike, run through the pain
(c) Buy a manssiere and/or bro

or

(d) Respond with your own "witty" response where you cleverly make fun of my sexuality and/or my a-cup beauties?

4 comments:

Tauni said...

the word "moobs" always makes me giggle

prez said...

Sounds like an excellent opportunity for a 3-day juice fast with your good friend Jack LaLanne...

seeryanrun said...

Get a Roman style vomit bucket.

ann marie said...

lipo . . . it's the american way