Almost a year ago now, he was accused of trying to commit a lewd act in a men's room. He was at a urinal peeing, and slid his foot under a stall, tapping another man's foot, signaling that he wanted to "bone," I believe CNN reported. Unfortunately, the man's foot he tapped was an undercover officer's.
Anyway, after much political mumbo-jumbo, he later denied being gay, lewd, or anything of the like, and he also could no longer recall what happened in that bathroom. In fact, Senator Craig stated:
"...he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom" and that was why his foot may have touched the officer's.
Yeah. Silly, right?
Seriously, this incident has really cramped my style. You see, I really do have a wide stance when at a urinal...and because of Larry Craig, I am currently extremely self-conscious on how I go. My usual pattern now is that I stand with my normal stance...feet farther than shoulder-width apart until/if another man enters the public restroom. At that point, if the urinator takes the stall next to me, I heel-toe my feet MUCH closer together, in almost Footloose-esque precision.
I am going to be honest. The amount of times I have accidentally peed on myself the past year has increased dramatically. Do you have any idea how hard it is for a man to incorporate a new pee stance? I have even sometimes succumbed to the dreaded one-hand-on-the-wall lean to alleviate unwanted drippage.
So thanks, Larry Craig. Because of your antics, I now consistently walk around with soggy jockeys and/or asparagus-smelling shoes.
You may not be gay or lewd...but you sure are an asshole.