Saturday, March 29, 2008

Triathlon Blog #7: I Frickin' Did It

I succesfully swam for two miles, in the water, with my arms and whatnot. At times, there was so much kelp/seaweed, I could have probably walked part of it, but I now know if there is a tsunami, minus the force of the wave, I could swim for a couple of hours towards the new shore. That is an important thing to know about yourself.

Triathlon Blog #6: It's Time to Taper

Next Sunday is the big day...and today is a two-mile ocean swim in preparation of our one-mile swim during the race.

No, I don't get it either.

Last week, we did a practice triathlon: about half all the distances we would do in the real race. I finished in under 1.5 hours, which was pretty sweet, except it again reminded me how terrible of a swimmer I am. How could I practice something for four to five months and still not be good at it? On the other hand, it's strange to think back to the first week of training when I couldn't go two laps without dying in the pool, but at the same time, I feel like I'm swimming in molasses, or say, chocolate pudding.

And who would ever swim around in chocolate pudding...

Friday, March 28, 2008

My New Least Favorite MLB Player

If you believe it or not...there is a baseball player named
EVAN LONGORIA now playing for the Tampa Bay Rays.

A little too close to that bitch, Eva Longoria. Maybe they could get married and have a bunch of fucking kids named Evan Money-Grubbing-Whore-With-No-Acting-Talent Longoria Jr.


Does THIS Make Me Gay?

So I was sitting in my car after a long day of work. I had four back-to-back-to-back-to-back meetings today...three of which I was leading. My mind was mush...and I was at a red light.

I for some reason caught a glimpse of a beautiful young woman in the car in front of me. She was looking in her side-view mirror and making a lip-rounding motion with her mouth....releasing....then rounding again....releasing....then rounding. I thought this was hot.

In my mind mush...I even spoke aloud: Damn...she's pretty cute.

Until the light turned green, and "she" straightened in her chair, and I could see that who I was actually gazing at was a man.

I dry heaved for a few seconds and thought:

hack...hack.....OH NO...OH NO....I'M GAY. hack...hack...hork...THIS PROVES IT! hack....hack...hork...hack...

So, I ask you...does this make me gay? My girlfriend says "no" makes HIM gay, but I just need further confirmation.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Triathlon Blog #5: In Brief

So I haven't blogged in awhile. 'Nuf said.

Some highlights of triathlon training since I last blogged:

I got over my cold and thoughts that I CAN'T do this anymore because of timing issues. Two or three weeks ago, I made a decision to get up at 5 AM every day so I could "find time" to train. It has worked...and I have time to train....just not to blog.

I ran a 10K (6.2 miles) last Saturday and hit my personal best time: 55 min (although I think they mistimed me and I was 54 something...but who's counting.)

After the race, I went biking with Darron. I took small pleasure in that fact he fell OFF his bike at one point and others laughed at him. I mostly pointed AND laughed.

About 6 months ago, I weighed about 240 lbs. Eek, indeed. By Decemeber, via dieting, I was down to about 220. As of today, via training, I am 208 lbs. I'm pretty stolked about that.

I successfully have swum in the ocean a few times now. My longest distance has been 1.5 miles. In a few weeks, I'll do two miles. The race distance is "only" a mile. I would say my ability to somewhat conquer my fear of cold water and swimming in the ocean has been my biggest accomplishment. During my first successful swim, dolphins swam around me and EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKED me on. It was a sign. A sign that dolphins need to shut the hell up when I'm trying to swim...that shit was loud.

Just a few more weeks to go. I'm also just a few hundred dollars away from my minimum $1,900 any more donations would be splendid!

Just a few bucks to go