Sunday, January 20, 2008

Triathlon Blog #3: When Balls Disappear

We did our first ocean swim yesterday, and it didn't go well. Although I have been practicing in a pool for months now, and can easily swim 2,250 meters (that's about 1.5 miles), I struggled with feeling my nuts in my throat while I swam yesterday afternoon. Just another in a long line of proof that I am (most likely) not gay (take THAT, Darron).

In all honesty, this was not the coldest water I had ever been in. A few years ago, when I tried a smaller triathlon, I was some in some VERY cold conditions. Yesterday didn't make me feel like dying, only ripping my skin off. There is a difference there. It's small, but it's different.

Additionally, I was the only person with a sleeveless wetsuit. I'm not sure how much colder this made me...or what role this played in scaring my nether regions. I would like to think none...so that's what I will think.

So after an hour of being talked to about how to ocean swim, we get in, get our shock of reality, and start floating around. We then have to get back out, and practice running back in, even though this isn 't how our triathlon will work. That's like practicing to wear a munchkin outfit on American Idol, then really going on dressed like Eva Longoria. God, I fucking hate her.

So we swim out past some kayaks and back a few times, and I swear to God, I am hyperventilating. Months of practicing...I can swim for over an hour nonstop ...and the first chance I get to do it in the ocean...I can't breathe the second I put my face in the water. Hurray for needlessly training!

The water is supposed to get "warmer" over the next few weeks, and we are also supposed to get "acclimated" to the "near death-like temperatures" that "make your lungs" want to "shrivel up" and "die."

All-and-all, as I mentioned, it didn't go well. But I'm a glass half full kind of guy, so:

Yesterday, I swam in the ocean. I didn't die and my testicles are now safely back in their holding cell. I got to pee on myself. Eva Longoria WASN'T there. We saw dolphins. I get to go back next week and try it all again.

Neat-o.

8 comments:

BillS said...

Good News / Bad News....
Good: The water temp around Hawaii (77.2F) is about twenty degrees warmer then the water off the Pacific Coast (55.6F) Not only that but by the time you do your Tri it should be almost 80 degrees...

Bad: Because the predominant current for the West Coast is water moving South from Alaska - the Pacific water temps never really get much above 65F until the Aug peak... and stay below 60 through the end of April, your training will continue to Suck. The difference between 55 degrees (which is below typical norms) and 60 isn't distinquishable by your family jewels.

Lets hear it for global warming...

BillS said...

btw: forgot to add the link, since I'm sure you are wondering where those numbers came from -

http://www.nodc.noaa.gov/dsdt/cwtg/spac.html

prez said...

I think I mentioned to you that JLO did a Triathlon in New Zealand with two other buddies. He swam, another buddy biked, and another ran. I'd be into that if we could find a third. I can't swim or run worth crap, so I'd prefer the biking leg.

BTW, I'm digging the new "Darron reference" label (as you knew I would). So when are you going to go back through all of your blogs and add labels?

McNastabator said...

Needless to say, I don' like gloabl warming...only ball warming.

And I know I need to "tag" all my stupid blogs...maybe I can hire an assistant...Oh Darron...

BillS said...

"Needless to say, I don't like global warming..."
Given your previous post I can't resist questioning;-)
Too much media input?

Couple quick notes - why is CO2 so bad? plants love CO2 - they use it like we use O2.

Which would you prefer global cooling or global warming? FWIW - I prefer slight global warming (not too much but we're still in a good range) as it is beneficial to life - in particular farming...

As for warming the evidence? well the most accurate records are in the US - the two warmest years are: 1934 followed by 1998 - it's now 2008; even the less accurate global estimates have failed to increases since 1998; seems like we are missing any real 'warming'; regardless of media hysteria ...

Finally although you might not remember the scare before acid range was the next ice age. When I was a kid we were all gonna die because giant glaciers were going to move south and food wouldn't be available... that sort of went away, liek acid rain.

So, I'm a bit of a skeptic - not that I don't think we have major environmental issues like over fishing, over development and forresty management. http://www.climatecooling.org/index.htm

McNastabator said...

Maybe your comment could be considered an inconvenient truth.

Lali said...

Is being a "glass half full kind of guy" a new year's resolution? If so, I didn't see that blog and was caught off guard... I know and love the grumpalicious guy so it might take a few days for me to warm up to this new "image."

McNastabator said...

G...R...UMP

...A..L..ICIOUS

Grumpalicious...

My moods are suspicious.
My rhymes are nutritious.

Grumpalicious.

Fergie aint got shit on me.