Friday, December 28, 2007

We Put The "S" in Fun

We all made it back, alive, with no vomit (to my knowledge). We drove and drove and drove some more to our destination: Sonic in El Centro, California for my 32nd (gulp) birthday. Much like everything in life, the journey was the story...

Throughout the week before the limo ride (with stripper pole) to Sonic, there was the typical mad frenzy of people flaking, adding, or my favorite, the ol' flake-add-flake-add-back-in. Some of my favorite excuses for NOT going were:

  1. I'm in Japan, and my girlfriend said I couldn't go.

  2. Mark? Mark Who?

  3. I'm "really, really" sick, and I really need to rest my mangina.

  4. My parents are in town and they are antisemitic and antisonic. One of those pertains to you, I think.

  5. The border patrol is holding my husband.

You think I'm lying...but you would be surprised.

Once everyone who was coming showed up, it was off to THE El Centro. This was especially surprising for one guest whose first language is Spanish...and "El Centro" means "Downtown." Once she figured out the truth, she sighed: "At least I brought my greencard."

She also passed out on the way TO THE El Centro. Anyone know the Spanish for "light weight"?

On board the limo, we played such games as:

  1. Who Can Finish the First Bottle of Jack so We Can Open the Second One and
  2. Pass The Vodka Around and Swig As Much as You Can and Don't Cheat Even If You Are Female as well as
  3. Cribbage.

There was a line for the pole, mostly because Tauni was hogging it. She lovingly became known as a "Pole Whore." I also heard someone say "That chick was born for the pole." We all have our special talents.

We also were treated to many pit stops along the way...one of which was interrupted because the Carl's Jr. somewhere between San Diego and El Centro had human feces on the bathroom floor. That was the most special present of the night...mostly because it wasn't mine.

Once at Sonic, we tried to tell our tale. Our struggle. How far we had come! The poop we saw on other establishments' floors! The staff didn 't care much about where we came from...but more of why I was trying on the trashcan covers. Here I am as Mr. Shake? I honestly am not familiar with the Sonic characters.

I also tried my hand as a hotdog. A few people were confused and tried to bite my wiener and bun...portion of my costume.

On the way home, we watched Superbad and everyone pretended like he/she didn't want to puke. We arrived safely back at home at 2:00 AM...and our seven-hour journey was complete. I went to sleep with visions of stripper poles, poop, and hotdogs swimming around my head.

So, in essence, this night was no different than any other for me.

8 comments:

Chris said...

There was no puking that night because I didn't come. One look at the steaming pile o' poo and I'd be applying for a visa to Bile Country.

Kara said...

You forgot to mention the 711 pee stop, my sister had to pee so bad she went in the sink!!

Middento said...

Oh my goodness. Man, but that sounds like it was fun. Only if I had been there, I'm sure I would have been hogging the stripper pole.

Lali said...

Did you interrupt that as "lovingly" when I called Tauni a Pole Whore...??? ;o )

McNastabator said...

I think I free associate "whore" with "loving"

Anonymous said...

Are you sure it was 32, and not 22 years old that day? I think it was all just a ploy to get Tauni on the pole.

prez said...

I'm surprised this is your first blog with a "poo" label.

Karey said...

Cmac just shared this link with me...I think you need to come an party in Dallas-we have Sonic on every corner...AND we live on a double cul-de-sac...that could be one hell of a marching bad during the night!

-Karey