Friday, May 25, 2007

Burrito Nazi

So almost two years ago I created my first blog. You don't remember it, do you? Well, luckily for you, here it is:

First Blog

Today, almost two years later, the following, almost shockingly similar transaction happened. Same guy. Same burrito shop. Same stupid result.

At about 8:15 this morning, I headed over to the Reyberto's Burrito Shop to get a breakfast burrito. The sign clearly stated they open at 8:00 AM. AND (more importantly) the door was unlocked. Two signs that scream to me:


I go the counter and I can hear the "customer service" guy milling about in the back. I patiently wait. I gots nowheres to bes.

A few minutes later, he walks around the side of the counter straight past me to put something in the salsa bar. No "Good morning." No "Hi." Nothing.

When he reaches the salsa bar, he says, without turning around to speak to me:

"Does the sign say open?"

Sign? Sign? What sign? I think. What the hell is he talking about sign? It's 8:20. The door is open. WHAT SIGN? So I insightfully query:

"What sign?"

No response. He keeps fiddling with the salsa bar with no time to look at me.

I dutifully take matters into my own hands. I look towards the door and notice that there is a sign. Much to my chagrin, he's right. The sign reads "closed." I decide to be aggressive. We have a history, after all.

"Well, it's after 8:00 AM, isn't it?"

He freezes. I got to him. His timeless pause floats in the air between us, until he returns to ignoring me and messing with the salsa bar.

"But I'm not ready yet. And the sign says 'closed.'"

Touche. Well played. But I wasn't about to give up. Today was going to be my day! I thought I could make this work, and I wanted a breakfast burrito, damn it!

"Yeah...well...the door is unlocked!"

HA HA! He didn't see that one coming. I felt proud and waited for him to freeze again.

He didn't. He turned around, walked right past me and back behind the counter. "Yeah, but I'm just not ready."

Sigh. His will is clearly stronger than mine. I played out waiting for him, briefly, in my head. I figured he would take his time and draw it out. I thought of responding further, but this seemed the coward's way out.

At 8:23, without a breakfast burrito, call me a fucking coward.

I marched toward the door, and quipped:

"Guess I'll come back later, then."

I showed him. I didn't go back.


Tauni said...

I wish the "I'm just not ready" defense worked at my job...

Tauni said...

....and if he would have made the burrito, he would have added "special" sauce.

prez said...

There's something very deep about his constant refrain of "I'm not ready yet. I'm just not ready."

If only all of us could be so self-aware as to know, to really know, when we are or are not ready for something...

McNastabator said...

Deep and meaningful, maybe. Most likely, he is just one late-ass son of a bitch.