Friday, April 06, 2007

And I'm the Asshole

I was driving home today after...

Teaching/Tutoring all day.

In the middle of thinking about...

How to raise more money for LLS
My bike ride for LLS
Activities that I need to create for a curriculum development project I am in charge of

And I didn't notice I was on a road merging from two to one lane.

I was next to a minivan with a very large 65-ish-year-old woman in it. I turned my signal on.

She sped up.

I sped up.

She (yes, in her minivan) sped up.

I sped up some more so I could merge...and I made the mistake of looking in my rearview mirror. The not-so-little old lady was flipping me off...hand out the window...middle finger all the way up. She even did it in the way that I can't stand....sans thumb. Just middle finger out...pumping her hand at me.

A fire burned in me. I wanted to stop the car...I wanted to take a stand. I was going to let her know that she shouldn't go around pumping her flabby, swinging back and forth, cellulite ridden, sun spotted, wrinkled, and haggard arm at me.

But I took a breath.

She doesn't know me.

I let it go...

And laughed because her fucking weighed down minivan was almost faster than my car...and because she doesn't shave her armpits.


Lali said...

Now I know how to flip you off when I really want you to take note...

McNastabator said...

Take note???

Is this a 19th century British novel?