Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The things one thinks about while eating at Coco's...

So I'm the kind of dude that doesn't mind, and often prefers, doing things alone. I'll go to movies, restaurants, even bath houses by myself...

In case you were keeping track, I was kidding about one of those previous places.

Anywho, even I...this guy...thought it was a bit much this morning to be eating breakfast at Coco's before class and to be subjected to listening to Three Dog Night's One Is The Loneliest Number.

Let's look at the lyrics, shall we?

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It's the loneliest number since the number one
No is the saddest experience you'll ever know
Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know
`Cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest number,
worse than two
It's just no good anymore since she went away
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday
One is the loneliest, number one is the loneliest
Number one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest, one is the loneliest
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
It's just no good anymore since she went away
(Number) One is the loneliest
(Number) One is the loneliest
(Number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
(Number) One is the loneliest
(Number) One is the loneliest
(Number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do


All this after being greeted by "JUST one?" when I walked in. Do they ever ask "Just two?"

Seriously, is there anything more depressing than sitting alone, eating breakfast, did I mention: alone, listening to a song about how lonely it is to be alone?

I was eating my eggs and laughing out loud at how terribly pathetic the situation was. I was the crazy guy in aisle five, seat two...just chuckling by himself. It made me think of other songs that could have come on:

The Top Ten Worst Hypothetical Songs Titles To Hear While Eating Breakfast Alone

10. Where did you bury the body boogie
9. Seriously? Just one? (a capella version)
8. Don't choke, no one is around to heimlich you.
7. Sitting at the counter is for you, you, you.
6. You must be a horrible person shuffle
5. You should probably take your food to go go
4. Reading the news blues
3. Not very popular polka
2. Friends make everything better and anyone eating breakfast alone right now is really missing out.
1. Fergaliscious (Just a terrible song to hear at any time)

4 comments:

prez said...

Man... breakfast.

McNastabator said...

I dont get it.

prez said...

That's actually my point. I never get breakfast. Thus, the longing tone of "man... breakfast."

McNastabator said...

As En Vogue would say:

never gonna get it, never gonna get it...