Saturday, April 29, 2006

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To 18 Miles

First of all (or last of all) I ran 18.5 miles...because 18 just wasn't enough for me. This chick and I decided to run the last half-mile cool down zone. Why...I dunno.

But even before that, two crazy things happened to me today, both of which would have been really, really funny if they would have happened to someone else, but they didn't.

At about mile 10, I stopped to stretch at one of the aid stations where you get your Gatorade on. I didn't feel like stretching right in front of the table, so I moved about 20 feet to the left of it, where I saw a huge, wooden post to press up against (sounds more exciting than it is, believe me) to stretch my calves. I get into position, one leg slightly behind the other, hand on the post to push back and stretch the calf. But wouldn't you know it, this wooden post, which doubled as a sign for the business inside, was completely rotted out. SO the second I pushed on it, it started falling towards the building's window! I instantly freak out and grab the post and did the "Did anybody see that look" over my shoulder as I slowly placed the rotten piece of post upright, and back away. That was a disaster nearly averted.

On the other hand, at about mile 15, I was motoring along, doing pretty well...and I am inside this group of about ten people, all of which were women. At this point, I am kind of tired and zoning, so I don't notice this metal post (what was it today with me and posts?) that had an additional piece of metal sticking out horizontally about four feet off the ground. As I run by the metal BAM (echo BAM...echo BAM....echo BAM)....the piece that was sticking out RAKES across my arm....which wouldn't have been so bad except that everyone within a half-mile radius heard me plow into the thing. My arm was totally bleeding, but I was fine physically. I was very embarrassed though...and that wasn't helped by people asking me for the next ten minutes "Are you OK...I saw you run into that post back there."

More signs (huh huh...get it?) that humans were not meant to run this far.

Christmas For a 30-Year-Old

I couldn't sleep last night. I kept waking up to make sure I wouldn't oversleep because I need to be somewhere at 6:15 so I can run 18 miles this morning. I am very excited to make up for my 16-mile run from a few weeks ago that I thought sucked.

I feel good today....and my goal is to run 18 miles under 3 hours. It's hard to explain, but I feel much more mentally prepared today than a few weeks ago.

...more to come...

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Six Feet Under

Is by far THE BEST series I have ever, Ever, EVERERRERERERER seen on TV.

Damn...if you havent watched it...DO IT YESTERDAY.

The final ten minutes of that show were absolutely amazing television.

Another Late Night Thought

Why do I spend most of my life pretending?

Saturday, April 15, 2006

16 Long, Arduous Miles

In the past 7 days, I have run 38 miles. That is sickening and gross. 7 days. 38 miles. Unbelievable.

So today was the infamous Train Run for my marathon training. What is the train run? you may be asking. Did you dodge trains? others of you may be stupidly wondering.


No...we actually took a train from the Solano Beach Amtrak Station to Oceanside. Then ran back. Sounds fun, doesn't it? We took a train somewhere...AND RAN BACK. Hahahahahahahahahah INSANE.

I have to admit, today was probably my worst run during my months of training. Last Saturday I ran 14 miles in about 2 Hours and 20 Minutes. Today I ran 16 in about 3 Hours and 10 Minutes. I am so annoyed with myself right now. I am also annoyed with being annoyed with myself. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Anyway, it was cold and rainy today...and my group kept stopping. I felt like every time we stopped my body took longer and longer to warm back up...until eventually, at the 12.5 mile mark, it just never loosened back up! So, I got to spend the next 3.5 miles in excruciating pain as I tried to run. That really, really sucked.

But, as promised, I audio blogged during the run today. I can't say it is going to be entertaining, and in fact, I almost promise you it won't be. Although I didn't really know where we were at the time, in retrospect it seems like I was about at the 11th mile when I recorded it.


this is an audio post - click to play

Friday, April 14, 2006

Seriously Sirius

I have had Sirius Satellite Radio since Christmas. I got it as a present...I just didn't install it until two days ago. Lay off, I'm a busy guy. Ha!

Anyway, it is SPECTACULAR. Tons of different stations...but I had to laugh yesterday when I was listening to ESPN radio which I get on AM, too. That was kind of dumb. But, I also heard some classics like Cinderella yesterday. It was on a station called Hair Nation!

So a friend of mine wrote a blog: Maccerz Blog basically saying that he can predict all these great technological things, and he foresees satellite radio going bye-bye because of the internet.

I don't agree with him. I see the two sattelite companies merging...and I have stock in Sirius so I hope they do! The stock is cheap, so it was small risk possibility for huge reward. It was my first time buying stock...which strangely made me feel very adult. Somebody SMACK me. Somebody female smack me.

Whatever happens, it's one of the coolest presents I have ever gotten. Not counting the gift of friendship that I get to re-open every day.

hahahahahahahahahahahahhahaah (sorry, that made ME laugh)

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Passing Thought

I am in the middle of my pretend Spring Break (I work at a bunch of colleges, one of which does not have Spring Break this week...SON OF AAAAAAAAAAAAA).

I just went on a Six Feet Under Marathon....and I only have a few shows to go until I find out what happens. So nobody post anything to ruin know how overwhelmed I get with having too many posts.

Anyway, in the middle of watching this show, I start thinking to myself " do you know you aren't crazy?"

To which I had no answer.

Then I thought: "Maybe I just spend most of my day trying to pretend I'm not crazy...and spend the rest of my time distracting myself so I don't realize how crazy I really am."

I didn't respond to that either.

Finally I thought "Maybe I shouldn't be having this conversation with myself..."

To which I responded "What conversation?"

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Weird-Like Feelings

You know when you break up with someone, and you feel like you are finally over it? You still think about her from time-to-time, but you convince yourself that there are no more weird-like feelings...

That shit is never right. A couple of my friends have brought up my ex-girlfriend recently and both times, since THEY brought it made me feel ill. In one instance I got all quiet and stand off-ish while in the other I got all sick and fluttery. Why is that?

Is there some sort of magical point where you simply don't care anymore? I mean, like everyone else, I have dated a ton of people in my life...and if you brought up any of them, except the most recent one, I wouldn't feel weird or think twice about it. But the most recent one still gives me that heart-drop...that pang...that sting...that screeching-brake-trying-to-avoid-an-accident sensation inside my skull when The Big C (as one of my friends has somewhat whimsically deemed her...this is actually QUITE ironic if you know the circumstances around our eventual demise) is mentioned.

Life, ultimately, is all about learning...and perspective. Additionally, if you have read the The Alchemist you could also throw in trying to be true to yourself and persevering through all internal and external obstacles that stand in the way of you becoming who you want, maybe even are destined, to be on your life journey.

I have personally found through this "learning" and "perspective" that I am atypical of many men. I am emotional, and I am ruled by passion. In essence, I think emotional stability is one of the challenges placed before me: to conquer this obstacle so I can become more balanced in my life and decision making processes. But how in the Hell am I supposed to do that when being thrown into emotional turmoil from the simple drop of a name?

I don't have an answer. My weird-like feelings have passed, though,...the screeching sound has dissipated. The accident never came. The dust is settling. Aversion has never been the problem...I'm sadly still learning how to drive the car when the tire blows.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Single Life

So I am coming up on month three of single life (don't all you ladies come running at one now)...and, more correctly noted, three months of celibacy. For whatever reason, either nature or nurture, I'm just not one of those dudes that can go out and hook up with some chick I don't, normally when I am single, that also means I'm not getting any....even though my roommate suggested tonight that I just go to a bar and get drunk and find some chick to take home. Did I mention my roommate is female? Nice role reversal.

Anyway, I thought my life yesterday epitomizes what life is like for me as a single dude...and seeing as how I have a blog...well, you can see where this is going.

Now, I have never been one to have problems going to movies by myself. I do it all the time! If I have a girlfriend, if I dont have a girlfriend...I just like the alone time. First of all, I get to the movie on time, which is important to me. I love previews. I mean, I fucking LOVE them. I am a preview whore. I would bend over and take it from a preview and ask for more. That is how much I love previews.

In sum: I really like them.

So, anyway, when I am going to a movie WITH someone, invariably, he/she does not care about the previews as much as I do. They think of the previews as "an option." Funk that! Previews are God's little gifts to mankind...and to miss them is SACRILEGE!

Perhaps you are seeing why I don't have a girlfriend in the first place.

But, when going to a movie by myself...I get there in PLENTY of time to see the ENTIRE preview section. But there's more...more I say.

Movies are expensive...and so is the candy. Another advantage to going to a movie by myself is I get to eat the entire box of Junior Mints with no sharing. I am a giving person. I would give anything I own to a friend of mine...but man, I love me some Junior Mints. I feel like I am sawing off an arm when I begrudgingly ask a fellow movie goer "Would you like some of (emphasis) MY Junior Mints?"

Of course this is just out of courtesy. I hope and expect a "No" every time I ask this question. But people cannot turn Junior Mints down. And have you ever heard of someone taking ONE Junior Mint. NOOOOOOOOO. People take like ten.

So, for a brief review: Going to the movies alone = being on time for the previews and eating all the Junior Mints. Win/Win.

Now, also, keep in's a movie. You can't talk during a why bother going with anyone. I hate when people lean over and say "What did he say?" or, worse yet...since women have about nickel-sized bladders the "Excuse me...I have to go to the bathroom" lean in followed by the "What did I miss" lean in upon the return. missed a lot...and I don't have a chance to tell you about it or I am going to miss something here...

And don't even get me started with the arm rest war. Be it somebody I went to the movies with or a complete stranger...sometimes I want to use both arm rests. Yeah...that's right: BOTH. Sometimes, I am going to lean to the left. Sometimes, the right. You take into account the previews that I can't miss, I might be sitting in my chair for three hours, and you know I'm not going to get up to go to the bathroom unless I am about to puke all my Junior Mints all over the big-haired chick that always ends up sitting in front of me. But, when going to a movie alone, this generally isn't a problem. Sometimes...sometimes...I even use both arm rests AT ONCE. King for a day I am when using two arm rests at the same time.

Finally, there is no need for the post movie chatter when I go by myself. There is no obligatory "So...whatdya think?" Most of the time, people miss the point of movies anyway, and so they don't have any idea about what they just saw. I find that people that don't read a lot don't understand themes and plot lines as well as people that do a lot of times, the answer to "So...whatdya think?" is a garbled mess of "I don't know what to think. I missed half of the movie because I was peeing in the bathroom anyway."

But do you want to know what is funny? Even though I get to the movie on time, I get to eat all the Junior Mints, I get BOTH arm rests, I don't have to talk during or after the movie...I somehow, some way still miss going to a movie someone. There really is something about sharing that time together that is pretty intimate. So, like most single people, I revel in my alone time...and I don't need anyone else, but when it comes down to it, I am a human being and crave companionship no matter how much of a pain in the ass it can be.

Maybe I should get a dog or something.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Friday, April 07, 2006


I am, admittedly, pretty much a pussy right now on Friday nights. I can't really go out...and I can't drink because I have to wake up at 6:00 AM Saturdays and go running. Tomorrow, for example, I am running 14 miles. I should write "supposedly run 14 miles" because my legs are killing me right now and I dont know if I can do it or not. Such a great feeling. Argh. Anyway...

A friend of mine tonight, commenting on my lack of Friday night gusto, coined a flippin hilarious jab at my expense. So, I thought I would write it here for all eternity. I love making fun of long as it is funny.

He said: Dude, the way you are acting right now...I don't know if I want to inseminate you or douche you...but I am leaning towards insemination.

Seriously, I about pissed myself. True comedy.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Two more months

I am always that guy doing something kind of crazy. I can't have a normal 9 to 5 life. I can't live in a place for more than a year without going a little nuts. And I don't believe in cleaning my bathroom more than twice a year. OK...maybe that is more gross than crazy.

So anyway, I am now two months away from this marathon thing...and this shit is getting serious. On Saturdays we do our long runs, and this last Saturday was an "easy" day where we only ran eight miles. It's scary, that run WAS really easy. In the next few weeks though...I will be running 14 and 16 miles respectively, so we'll see how I feel. Sometimes after these long runs, I get really, really sore....and can't do things like walk. I also told a friend of mine after these runs that I have a hard time "bending over" when I meant "kneeling." We followed this with about 30 minutes of gay jokes. It's amazing how long two straight guys can talk about gay, anal sex. But, I digress. All things considered, running 12 miles a few weeks ago was such a mental gain. I realized that I can do matter how painful the ceaseless pounding is on my legs.

I have also decided to actually start eating healthy, too, for this race. Over the past year I have gained and lost the same 15 lbs to 20 over and over again. On any given week, I can weight anywhere between 210 and 230 lbs. It's absolutely crazy how easily my body can gain and lose weight.

So anyway, my plan is to try and actually see if I focus on this weight loss thing while I am running to see how low I can go. I am assuming I can drop down to about 200 lbs in a few months.

I started this tonight by going to McDonalds as a last hurrah before I focus in on two months of real training. They have some ranch chicken bacon sandwich thing now, which I had never had nor even heard of before. It was kind of gross...but what a way to say goodbye to greasy food for two months. On a total side note, why are all McDonalds commercials so ghetto now? Maybe if they made more commercials about ugly-ass white dudes with a normal income going to McDonalds, I would go more often. They just don't market to me. Oh...and their food sucks...that is another reason I hardly ever eat there. I am actually feeling like such shit right now. I want to make myself throw up. I'm lovin' it.

Lastly, I ended up at another gay party last night. I really don't know how I get myself into these situations...but man, what a sight! There we big, BEEFY guys running around in 12-inch heels and skirts. I also met this yoked German dude who bonded (not in that way) with me over Czech beer being the best in the world. I found it comical to have this conversation with him while he was wearing a shirt that my 1-year-old nephew probably couldn't fit into.

I also had an eye-opening chat with this other dude who is 34 and "just found out he was gay last labor day." I don't know if it really works that way...but I do now have a better sense of what we are supposed to do on that holiday...just do a little check in on the ol' sexuality. I guess for some people, that is a bit more laborious than for others.