Thursday, January 26, 2006

Do It Yourself

I am in the middle of a home improvement project, of a sort. I am building shelves from my bedroom. And while I was under the impression that such a thing was supposed to be a cost saving I am about $300 to $400 into the hole for a couple pieces of wood on the wall. As America itself has shown us, liberty does indeed have its price....and it is worth every penny.

This isn't the first thing I have built from scratch. I removed and replaced my deck in Hayward about a year ago, which involved such interesting adventures as (1) Finding 20-year-old toys under the old deck, (2) hiring a day laborer off the streets of Hayward to assist in the hammering, and (3) realizing that I like building shit.

There truly is some innate satisfaction with doing something yourself...and seeing a product sitting before you that you created. YOU...the person who might not even be able to change a lightbulb.

So, my shelves are presently in the garage...drying after the second stage of staining...and they are awaiting to be sealed.

And this project has made me think about other things I could do for myself, but presently don't or haven't. I'll let you figure out which ones are real (which wont be tough. I am speaking to myself since no one reads my blog.):

(1) Fix My Own Car
(2) Small, Elective Surgeries...and some larger non-elective ones
(3) Create a police state in my home and lower the terror-threat level to green so that I don't have to show up the airport three hours early for a one-hour flight that ends up being two-hours late (no...I'm not bitter)
(4) Whacking People (I have been watching a lot of Oz, recently)
(5) Buy and Sell My Own Homes
(6) Buy Stock (I did this one a few weeks ago!)
(7) Do laundry instead of taking things to the dry cleaner
(8) Use poison instead of blunt objects (see number 7)
(9) Fellatio
(10) And last but not least: Fellatio. (I really want to do that myself)

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

What does a person do the first week of January in San Diego when it is 80 degrees outside?

He goes to Home Depot and buys an 8 lb axe and chops up his Christmas tree, or course!

I have to admit, I had never chopped wood or used an axe before. It was grueling, but A LOT of fun. The best moment had to be my initial "swing" where I completely missed the tree and came within inches of chopping off my own foot.

Did I mention the axe also doubles as a sledgehammer?

Screw that previous post about me being a pussy. I now own an axe/sledgehammer and a crowbar.

+ =

Fear me.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I hate this feeling

I hate feeling like all my creativity is just a frickin' sham.

In my Blogger Profile, I "uniquely" put my interest as "Not Blogging."

Ha Ha Ha I think. I am soooooooooo funny.

I go into my profile tonight because I am bored out of my mind...and I notice there is a link to my ever-so-clever "not blogging" comment.

Wouldn't you know it...there are 18 other people that are just as clever as I am.

Go me.